There was a huge part on my life when I have really struggled on building up self-confidence. When I was in Grade School, I hardly get someone who wants to play with me. I was really thin – and even worse, I was part of the school’s feeding program where they feed seemingly malnourished children. Ugh! I was underweight for my height and age and the other kids do not want to play with kids who are lame at games. I was the typical school girl who badly wants to play but then just sits on the corner and watch the others play. Then when I get home, I pretend like I was playing the game within the silence of the four corners of my room.
The one thing that is good though is that I would win Quiz Bees and participate in the school’s extra curricular activities. I was active academically and was one of the Top 5 when we graduated. Even so, I have felt I was an outcast and I felt I was not good enough to fit in. I admittedly I have had poor self-esteem issues growing up and admittedly it was a struggle that I fought for so hard. I am no psychologist but in this journal, I would like to share the struggles that I have had about self-confidence.
What value does building self-confidence add in our life? Let me tell you about the Wheel of Wellness.
The Wheel of Wellness is a model based on Adler’s individual psychology and cross-disciplinary research on characteristics of healthy people who live longer and with a higher quality of life. We all aim for a high quality life in this world and in order to do that, we would need to achieve a high self-esteem, which it is essential to focus on identifying strengths, positive assets, and resources related to each component of the Wellness model and use these strengths to cope with life challenges.
As for me, I tried not to focus on the things I cannot do. I told myself to be optimistic and always see the good things over the bad. I went put myself in a perspective where I focus on the things I have and what the things I can offer offer the world – those things that I can give to people around me and help them too. I identified my positive attributes, focused on it, and tried my best to improve more on it. I know it might be a bit of a struggle especially when sometimes people around you seem to put you down. But always remember that you know yourself better than anyone else around you.
So let not other people define who you are – try not to care about what other people see and think and focus on the positive things within you and keep working on it.
A positive attitude surely comes a long way. You will be surprised yourself once it will be making the difference in your life – so hang on to it! I always believe that if you set your self to a definite goal, the world will pave the way to let you pass. Make it your goal to achieve self-confidence and it will be that much easy if you keep your mind focused on it. Fake it if you must until you convince yourself of it. It worked like magic for me.
Until the next journal sexy nerds! Stay awesome! VP
P.S. Here are some reading materials that might help in building up self-confidence:
- The Power of Self-Confidence
- Take Control of Your Life
- Navy SEAL Training: Self-Confidence
- Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It
- 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem
- Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem
- The Self-Esteem Workbook
- The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence
- Self Confidence Secrets
- The Confidence Plan: How to Build a Stronger You